Wednesday, January 14, 2009
“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!”
I want to thank you for your prayers. I just went to the doctor yesterday and received wonderful news. I have been going through a series of tests and visiting different doctors over the last three months. I was hoping for a miracle and I believe I received one.
During this time I have studied the Bible for words on healing and how to fight fear. One night when I was losing my battle with fear I wrote a poem about how when faith dances with fear, beautiful thoughts seem as elusive as the butterfly. Yet fear can stain our mind with vivid thoughts. The only way for me to overcome my fears was to surround myself with music of praise and to keep scripture nearby for me to read daily.
I listened to sermons that kept my focus on God and not the problem. What I learned is that when fear begins to speak those frightening thoughts, the only thing I could do was to believe that God is faithful. I keep a journal which I continue to add words to that speak to my faith. I want to share what I learned during this trial.
Praise is our greatest weapon against fear. When we thank God in the middle of a storm, we are showing Him that we Believe. Here is a journal writing from a dark night of despair:
I read in my devotional today to sing praise. “And when He hears you sing, He will bend down with a smile on His kind face. As He cheerfully listens, He will say, “Sing on, dear child. I hear you and I am coming to deliver you. I will carry that load for you. So just lean hard on Me, and the road will get smoother by and by.”
I needed so much to feel those feelings today, but I didn’t. It was difficult to list my blessings, when the daunting thoughts of fear returned.
The question of how to thank God in the middle of the messiness of life is almost impossible from a worldly perspective. Yet, I know that it is the only way out. “So just lean hard on Me, and the road will get smoother by and by.”
I stand at the crossroad of this chapter with no relief in sight, yet I trust you. I feel like crying and I am so tired Lord. Thank you Lord for this adversity, I trust that you have a plan and that all that burdens my heart will be used for my good. I reject any mood of discontent and cast my worries onto you. I give my circumstances to you Lord, I know that you can weave these details into great blessings for my life.
“Sing a little song of trust, O my heart
Sing it just because you must,
As leaves start
As flowers push their way through dust
Sing, my heart because you must”
Within my spirit I heard "Although things look so overwhelming for you right now, and everything seems to be impossible for you, remember nothing is impossible for me. Just like the snow blanketed ground seems daunting to the little bud, it finds it’s way and blooms in Spring. Seasons of change bring seasons of despair when you cannot see the break in the snow. If you keep on trusting and having faith and singing praise to the Father, all things will work together for good."
I wrote: Thank you Jesus, just a whisper from you is enough to see me through.
Believing is what gives us the ability to pray, and the confidence to ask for prayer. Believing is what executes the very authority that God has given to us to say to that mountain "move." Although this has been a difficult three months, I am so thankful for what I have learned about overcoming fear, and thankful for people like you who prayed for me. I am thankful for this new faith that strengthens my path now. I know that these uncertain times require an abundance of faith.
The scripture that meant so much to me over these months was about the authority that God has given us to move mountains. When the diciples asked Jesus why they could not do what Jesus could do, he replied:
"Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."
Matthew 17:20, 21
And now I can write tonight in my journal of how Faithful God is, and once again He has brought me through a season of darkness. All along teaching me how to overcome fear by using my faith to sing praise for the very adversity that once made me fear. I will write that when we thank God in the middle of fear, we are speaking life into our circumstance. As I have reminded myself a hundred times...God is not the author of fear. I memorize this teaching so that I can encourage myself the next time fear visits my life.
The song for this post is God Will Make A Way.