Recently, I have been spending a great deal of time with my Mom, who is now in a nursing home in Vermont. She fell the week before Christmas and broke her hip and now has Dementia. She turned 90 years old in June, and she was showing signs, but either they were slight or perhaps I was just in denial.
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| on Mom's 90th Birthday, Ashley, Brayden, my mom, Logan, RJ and Sarah |
Since her fall, surgery, hospital stay and being placed first in rehabilitation and now a nursing home, I have been living in Vermont these months.
Daily I would walk the hall towards her room and pass numerous residents with varying levels of Dementia. There were those who could barely keep themselves sitting upright in their wheelchairs. Other residents who could use a walker, but seemed lost anyway by the expression in their face. Some residents had no words, just a desperate look in their eyes.
I am back home for a few weeks to tend to family things. Today I was slighted by a young girl, who often reacts to me in an unkind way in front of others. Unfortunately, she is part of the family so I cannot avoid her at family gatherings. Yet it puzzles me why someone would enjoy being so hurtful. Years ago this would not happen because back in my day a 20 something girl would never dream of making someone 68 years old feel uncomfortable.
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| first time meeting Logan |
I thought about how all these months I purposely would never make my Mom feel slighted. When she uses a wrong word, or tells a strange story, or often thinks she has moved again, I try to console her. I bought her a pink princess phone.
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| at Sarah and Mike's wedding |
When we talk and she feels that she has been moved, I remind her if she is talking on the pink phone she is in the right room.
It made me think of how differently that young girl who makes me uncomfortable, might think of acting, if she knew how she or a loved one might end up with Dementia someday.
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| at Ashley's baby shower |
Actually all of us should spend more time being mindful, thoughtful, and thankful. If we knew that we might lose our gifts someday I believe we would be thankful for every precious moment we are able to think, write, dress ourselves, live alone, walk, drive and the list goes on.
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| for 18 years while living at her residence she organized food donations for the local food shelf at Christmas |
I thought about what a gift this painful experience has been watching my Mom, who was so independent walk into the path of Dementia. A bittersweet gift because it has reminded me of her adventures and what a wonderful life she has had. A gift because for the rest of my life, I will cherish every moment of everyday being thankful for the things I once took for granted.
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| at Sarah's bridal shower me, my sister, Susan, my mom and my sister, Lynne |
My mother always started everyday with a prayer to God. "Thank you God for my strong body and my strong mind" God responded by giving her 90 years of good health and wonderful experiences.
At 68, I know my life too has been filled with amazing adventures. We never know who will be affected by Dementia someday.
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| recently at the nursing home, my mom can no longer dress herself bath, or walk with a walker |
So, I want to hold onto all the good thoughts everyday. I want to be thankful and appreciate the little things.
I want to work on not being offended by foolish people, instead fill my life with as many positive people that I can. Enjoy my husband, wonderful daughters, son-in-law and grandchildren, sisters and closest friend, Joyce.
